


Sacrifice

by Ulalume



Series: Major Grys [7]
Category: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M, Gen, Grys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-12 19:18:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ulalume/pseuds/Ulalume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commando Grys struggles to deal with the emotional aftermath of a tragic decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Contains class story spoilers.
> 
> Timeline: Just after A-77.

“Did you ever have to do that?” Grys asked Jorgan in a subdued voice, when the crew had returned to the Thunderclap, filed their reports, and were winding down on the ride to the next mission. She had asked him to accompany her on the bridge for the first shift.  
  
Jorgan checked the panel in front of him. He expected the question, but delayed his response. “Do what?”  
  
“Sacrifice one for the good of many? Sacrifice a friend?” The sorrow in her voice made him want to take her into his arms and comfort her. Instead, he was silent for a few moments, then answered slowly. “Once. But circumstances were different. He was wounded and knew he was a liability, would only slow us down. He insisted we continue without him.”  
  
“He didn’t make it, then.” A statement, not a question.  
  
“No. He didn’t.”  
  
She was silent for several minutes; Jorgan could see her working through her thoughts. Her hands were still, though, and he was sure that wasn’t a good sign. It probably meant she was shutting down. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said, wanting to take some of the burden off her.  
  
When she looked up, he could see her anguish. “Jaxo was my friend and she was a good sergeant. She trusted me, and I…I killed her. I didn’t even say goodbye. I just killed her.” She ran her hands across her eyes, refusing to cry. He understood too well what she was experiencing. “She sounded so panicked, I —”  
  
With a glance at the door of the bridge, he stepped close to put his arms around her but she placed her arms between them, gathering his shirt into her fists, resisting. She hadn’t been entirely successful in her efforts to stop her tears, and he wiped them from her cheeks, then lifted her head to make her look at him. “You didn’t kill her. She knew the risks.“  
  
She pulled her face from his grip and scoffed. “I won’t hide behind that. I made the decision. I gave the order. Same thing.” She began to shake. In anger, in grief, it didn’t matter. Jorgan gently disengaged her hands from his shirt and placed her arms around him so he could hold her closer.  
  
“No one ever wants to make a decision like that. No one.” He kissed her forehead. “You know you did the right thing. If we’d tried to get to her, all the others — including both of us — would never have made it out alive.”  
  
“I know that.” Her voice was muffled against his shoulder. “I know it was the only choice. In my official role, I had no other option. But as a person, as a friend, that doesn’t stop it from hurting. It doesn’t make the guilt go away. I have to live with that. Forever.” She sighed. “I know it makes no sense. I — we — kill people all the time, people with families, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers. People who are mourned by others. But this makes me really feel like a murderer. I’m tired of it, Aric. Tired of war, of death.” They lapsed into silence while she regained her composure, each feeling the enormity of their lives.  
  
“I could not make the same decision, not if you were the one I had to sacrifice.” Grys lifted her head and looked at Jorgan.  
  
His heart contracted at her confession, but he knew the soldier needed to hear a different opinion. “You would. You’re too good a soldier, too good a person to save me over hundreds, over thousands. You do what you have to, whether you like it or not. And sometimes you have to do the right thing for others, even if it’s not the right thing for yourself.” He didn’t add that he knew he would sacrifice himself before he’d sacrifice her. He had left someone behind, once, and he would never be able to overcome that guilt twice.  
  
“The one I sacrificed,” he looked out into empty space, then back at her, “was my brother.”  
  
Grys knew there was nothing she could say to ease that pain. She just held him tightly.

  
10.08.2012  



End file.
